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Myths Around Bisexuals

By Ramya Mishra and Lakshit Pareek

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WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF BI’S MYTHS

History has proven the fact, people with different thinking, varied choices, and diverse preferences have always been targeted and tortured. Those who have questioned or raised their voices, against the orthodoxies are told to abide by the so-called rules and obligations of society. But then history is also proof, revolutions never happen while sitting at home. They need reforms, fierce debates around right and wrong, and lastly, people join hands for a reason. Sadly it is the 21st century, and we still demand rights for people with different sexual preferences.

“He is acting weird, I think he is gay.” These are a few of the common lines, we have heard multiple times around us. Yes, there are many reasons behind these discriminations- narrow thinking, myths, wrong notions present around the LGBTQ+ community. This needs to be immediately addressed, as due to many of these faulty ideas, discrimination is present within the community members too.

One such segment is of Bisexuals, they are at times portrayed as those evil creatures, who love dipping in every honey pot.

Who are Bisexuals? It is a term coined for a person who is attracted to both genders. They form a sizeable number in the LGBTQ community. Most of the bisexuals discover their alternate sexuality pretty late, at times when they are in their mid–30s or 40s. They can be married to the opposite sex and living a happy life, but it is not necessary that they are straight.

There are many myths that are revolving around bisexuals; today we are going to address a few of them.

Bisexuals are opportunist/sexually promiscuous

This is a common myth. It is believed that bisexuals want to have the best of both worlds. People naively believe they would always choose the opposite gender, if given an opportunity. Let’s catch the bull by the horn, this myth is totally untrue. A bisexual may have more inclination towards a particular gender, over the other.

For example- I am a girl and I can go out on a date with a boy and girl both. But I might enjoy the company of the girl more and feel more emotionally connected to her. Or, I might form more meaningful and intense relationships with women over men.

Rarely will we come across bisexuals who feel 50-50 attracted towards a particular gender. Next time, when your partner tells you they are bisexuals, don’t freak out. And please don’t ask that stupid questions-Hey, do you find that woman attractive? Or do you want to date her? Trust me, if she is with you, then there is a good reason behind that. By asking such questions you are belittling your relationship.

If bisexuals get married to a particular gender, then they are no more a Bisexual.

This is so dumb that, we can’t even consider it a myth; people should reject it by themselves. This is something like, I am a good writer but if I start to code a program for a living, then I would be no more creative. My take on this-Are you kidding me?

Bisexuality is not something that comes or goes with time; this is something you are born with. It might be possible that the realization of your sexual preferences can be early or late, nothing else. So once a bisexual,  always a bisexual.

Bisexuality is a Phase.

THIS IS MY HEART’S CONDITION, AFTER HEARING THIS MYTH

People often think that bisexuality is a phase, like the pimple eruptions, or acting rebel, or going on some kind of holiday. You go, chill, and comeback. No, being bisexual doesn’t mean that you are on a vacation, or experimenting with different sexuality. You might be curious about your sexuality. Many times in teens we might feel an intense attraction towards the same sex too. This indicates you are bicurious, not bisexual.

When you feel intense love, possessiveness, physical attraction towards same-gender multiple times, be assured you are a bisexual.

Do understand a person is bisexual throughout life. It will always stay with them because it is a part of them. It is not some illness, which can be cured with therapy. It is something that has been gifted by god. And there are only a few in the species who can mate with both genders. Raise a toast to this fact.

Bisexuals are unfaithful or untrustworthy

Accusing a whole community blindfolded is not the way. Unfaithfulness does not come with sexual preferences, it is totally individual dependant. Are there no roving eyes in a straight or homosexual community? Trust me, had that been the case, no divorce cases would have been filed for infidelity. Jeff Bezos, Tiger Woods, Brad Pitt are all heterosexuals.

Faithfulness and loyalty have got nothing to do with sexual orientation. It has a lot to do with a person’s rearing up, ethics, and his/her background. I have come across straights who are compulsive cheaters, and also bisexuals who are in a committed marriage.

Bisexuals are reckless souls, looking for an eternal love affair.

Everyone in the world wants to have a perfect love story to tell others. People keep on looking their whole life for their ‘soulmate’ but can’t find one. Bisexuals too are human beings, and they also want a love story to tell their grandchildren.

But like all other humans present on the planet, bisexuals also stop looking for their soulmates, once they get their own fairy tale love story. Please understand, bi’s do want to settle down, they need a home and welcoming arms to come back to, after a tiring day.

Bisexuals are always looking for a threesome.

YES, THIS IS MY REACTION.

This is a widely propagated lie and myth. Being bisexual nowhere means having kinky fantasies. The next nonsense which we will hear, they love spanking, cuffed and what not! Please threesome is an individual preference and has nothing to do with sexuality.

Bi’s are a decent lot of people, who respect their privacy and are equally possessive about their partner as any other human being. So, indicating that they are always on a threesome prowl, is a tad hilarious.

People need to understand, bisexuals are not some unicorn souls, who would have special privileges over others. They are just normal human beings, with different sexual preferences, which differ in gender, not in number.

These were some of the myths that revolve around bisexuals and have been around for a long time now.

We would look forward to your comments, and yes, if you know of any other myth then feel free to share it in the below comment section.

 

 

3 Comments
  1. Donna Emperador says

    Years ago as a college student, I had a friend who was bisexual. At that point in my naive life I thought people were either straight or gay. He explained that basically to him, it meant he wasn’t limiting himself to only half the population for who he was “allowed” to be romantically attracted to. This made a lot of sense to me.

    1. gypsy says

      Donna, I can understand this, but it is much more than getting attracted. It is like feeling a deep connection with a same-sex person, along with those romantic feelings.

  2. Joyce van der Ent says

    Another great blog! Yes there are many prejudices against bisexuals. Good you take them by the horns in this blog. A factor may be, that sex-addicts often call themselves bisexual, giving a wrong impression of the group.
    I didn’t understand for a while in the past, the difference between bisexuals and pansexuals. But the latter don’t care about gender, they can fall for any person, no matter male, female, transsexual or intersexual.

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